Profesjonelle Forex Tradere Ønsket Sko

Hva bloggere ikke forteller deg om Forex Trading. Postet av Jay 4. januar 2017 10 Kommentarer. Jeg har nylig lest noen helt forferdelige råd om mer enn noen få finansblogger. Jeg m ikke skal ringe noen ut spesifikt, men det virker mye av bloggere er fortaler Forex valutahandel til sine lesere. Disse innleggene presenterer ofte Forex trading som en enkel, lav risiko, måte å skape passiv inntekt på. Unnskyld mitt språk, men dette er uklarhet for så mange grunner. Disse spesielle bloggene er ikke rettet mot avansert eller til og med over gjennomsnittlige investorer. Rådgivning av nybegynnere investorer for å begynne å dabble i Forex markeder er bare ren hensynsløs råd. Sannheten om Forex Trading.1 Forex markedet er mer korrupte og mer tungt manipulert enn noe annet trading kjøretøy du kan tenke på der er veldig lite regulering og det er ingen sentralisert bok for Forex-bransjer. Med aksjer og obligasjoner sender meglerfirmaet hver handel ut til en uavhengig utveksling som skal fylles, lader deg se t provisjon uavhengig av om handelen din er en vinner eller taper Fordi det ikke eksisterer en enkelt bytte for Forex-handler, tjener Forex meglere ofte penger ved å spille den andre siden av handelen. Like som forhandleren på et blackjackbord i Vegas. Det er ikke rart at de sier nært til 90 av Forex-forhandlere mister penger.2 Forex trading er et null-sum spill Hver handel du lager er egentlig et spill mot en annen investor om en bestemt valuta vil stige eller falle. For noen å tjene penger på Forex-markedet, har noen andre å miste penger Hvis du har mer informasjon og en bedre strategi, kan du tjene penger på handel med Forex. Men med profesjonelle handelsmenn, banker og andre institusjoner ofte på den andre siden av disse bransjene, hvor ofte tror du at oddsen er til din fordel? er et ordsprog i pokerverdenen Det spiller ingen rolle om du er den nest beste pokerspilleren i verden hvis du sitter i et spill med topp 8. Leksjonen er, ikke spill i et spill hvor du ikke har en kant .3 Ther e er ikke noe riktig system for å tjene penger i Forex trading Gjør et raskt Google-søk etter Forex Trading, og du får siden etter produktsidene og gratis kurs som hevder å ha hemmeligheten til å tjene penger handelsvalutaer 99 av dem er ikke mer enn scammy crap.4 Forexmarkeder er ekstremt volatile Se på hva som skjer med dollaren hver gang Ben Bernanke snakker. Valutaene flyttes av et enormt antall økonomiske og politiske faktorer, hvorav de fleste er uforutsigbare. Dette skaper bare et minefelt for små investorer med jevne mellomrom jobber når de prøver å holde tritt med alle dataene.5 Det er stor innflytelse i Forex-markedene Når du åpner en Forex trading-konto, må du først åpne en marginalkonto med megleren. Standardhandel er utført på 100.000 valutaenheter , vil meglerhusene tilby hvor som helst leverage ratioer hvor som helst fra 10 1 til 200 1 for å fullføre bransjer Denne innflytelsen øker betydelig din fortjeneste og tap på hver handel og krever s eksepsjonell disiplin for å håndtere La oss være ærlige, den gjennomsnittlige personen kan ikke håndtere å ha noen kredittkort uten å bli båret. Jeg tror det er trygt å si at folk flest ikke har det som trengs for å styre sin innflytelse i Forex-markedene heller. Jeg m ikke prøver å si at det er umulig å tjene penger på valutamarkedet. Men for den lille, uerfarne investoren Forex trading er som å vase i hai infested vann mens du bærer Lady Gaga s kjøttkjole Du d bli bedre servert å gå til Vegas og ved å satse på passordet på craps-bordet, vil det få deg til økonomisk frihet like raskt. Jeg tar spørsmålet med bestemte blogger jeg har sett innlegg om dette nylig fordi de er rettet mot gjennomsnittlige små investorer. En ting jeg har lagt merke til er at at hvert av disse innleggene inneholder tilknyttede lenker til Forex trading nettsteder Mens jeg ikke har noe imot å prøve å tjene penger fra blogginnleggene, gjør jeg det også, en ting jeg aldri vil gjøre er å anbefale et produkt eller en servi Oppgi leserne mine at jeg ikke ville anbefale til min egen familie. Det faktum at de tilknyttede koblingene var utbredt i disse innleggene, forteller meg en av to ting. Enten bloggerne skriver innlegg om ting de ikke forstår helt, eller de er bevisst villedende målleser for å få affiliate henvisninger Jeg er ikke sikker på hva som ville være verre. For noen bloggere som har eller planlegger å anbefale Forex trading til sine lesere, utfordrer jeg deg til å sette pengene dine der munntastaturet ditt er. Med mindre du har erfaring med handel med Forex , og enda viktigere, å tjene penger i Forex over en betydelig tidsramme. Ikke anbefale det til leserne dine. Nyt dette innlegget. Vil du være sikker på at du ikke mister noen fremtidige innlegg. Pass på å abonnere på RSS-feed hvis du ikke har gjort det allerede og vær sikker på å holde kontakten på Facebook og Twitter. Jeg må si at jeg er helt enig Handel Forex eller annen type marked vil bare resultere i tap Alternativer trading er en dårlig bedrift Du kan ikke bare ke penger fordi det ikke er noen konsistens til disse markedene. Jeg har vært handel forex i mange år Fryktelig, jeg har mistet en stor mengde penger og tid jeg trodde jeg hadde en naturlig kant med et menza nivå iq, kombinert med mange av fritiden Min vinnende strategi var for alltid oppdatert, og tiden ble brukt tilbake testing og søknad med små mengder Til slutt ville frustrasjonen overta og innflytelsen ville øke Etter stor fortjeneste var det store tap. Ingenting fungerte jeg gir opp. Alle forex trading utgjør gambling Tid til å kaste den inn og gå videre til noe som ikke er for godt til å være sant. Og hvis du leser denne advarselen og bestemmer deg for ikke å lytte, kan jeg ikke skylde deg at jeg var i skoene dine en gang så jeg forstår helt. Jeg beklager , Jeg må være uenig Du kan tjene gode penger på valutamarkedet, bare de mest veiviserne og handelshemmelighetene på nettet er ubrukelige For å slå banker og investeringshus må du velge en stor nok tidsramme jeg bruker 4h ch Kun kunst og handel signalerer det, fordi de er relevante nok Hvis du hopper inn og ut hvert par timer, hvor har du tenkt å tjene din fortjeneste Gi markedet plass og tid til å gi deg fortjenesten Det er derfor de fleste handelsfolk løs, fordi de handler på en tidsramme som ikke passer til deres evner og evner. På 4t diagrammer er det tilstrekkelig å handle noen få dager. Hvis tidsrammen din er stor nok, har du ikke lyst til å bry deg om hva Draghi eller de andre sier. handel fundamentals, holde fast med technicals Og om bankene og investeringshusene er så store skudd, som de sier. Les noen analyser og prognoser fra dem som er datert tilbake noen måneder og sjekk om de hadde rett eller ikke. Mest sett vil du se, at selv de ikke har noen anelse om hvor markedet beveger seg på lang sikt. De har bare god pengeforvaltning og mye tid for en bank. Det er ikke noe problem å holde en million tapende posisjon over måneder før markedet blir For deg, som en priv spiste næringsdrivende, dette kan være et problem. Og en ting til de fleste mislykkede handelsfolk løs fordi de sekulerer, det vil si at de handler hva de forventer at det kan skje, og ikke hva som egentlig skjer. Det var også min feil i lang tid og mistet også mye penger til jeg forandret hele visningen, hvordan jeg ser markedet og merk at jeg ikke prøver å selge noen mirakelbøker eller nettsider her. Greg Connell sier. Jeg vil bare legge til, for din vurdering, noe jeg Jeg jobber gjennom Hvis vi blir hjulpet, så vær det så Vær ærlig med deg selv om hva du tenker på penger Var du fortalt at du lærte penger, er roten til alt ondt kjærligheten til, Hater du ondskap eller elsker du Det åpenbart hater du ondt Du er en god person Nå, hvem er bak det sitatet om penger ondt osv. Jeg skal si at de som kontrollerer pengemengden er de som matet den leksjonen langt og bredt slik at de ville ha all den penger de ville. Problemet løst, du er ikke tjene penger fordi du hater det. Elia Kass ab sier. Jeg er enig med alle kommentarer. Men hvis du er i med den smaleste amout gjør mange operasjoner på samme tid, la din operasjon for dager slutte å gå deg tapt eller du får tid til handel. Du vil bemerke at markedene beveger seg raskt to ganger eller tre ganger svak Det verste enn å spille meglerne og bankene tok pengene til de smaleste investorene Takk jeg trodde at jeg er alene i denne dårlige virksomheten. Ikke prøvd det er vanskelig å vinne, og det er så lett å tape. . Hemmeligheten til å være vellykket i forex er veldig grunnleggende. 1 tidss skjermtid for å forstå prishandlingen for å kunne forstå prisbevegelsen da den fører til økonomiske utgivelser med rødt flagg. 2 Parvalg velger alltid de svakeste parene mot de sterkeste. 3 strategi bruker ikke indikatorer bruker ikke støtte eller motstandslinjer eller trendlinjer Dette er hvor de smarte pengene tar pengene dine.4 Riskkontroll har aldri mer enn 2 prosent total kapital i fare når som helst, og bruk alltid et stoppfall hvis du har muli tple oppføringer på samme par på forskjellige nivåer enn sørg for at de er i berak selv og dekket før de åpner flere ordrer.5 Skalpering og dagshandel er en tapende metode du blir drept på spredet, også du har vanligvis 3 dager i uken med en veldig stramt utvalg.6 Handelsbøker er ikke gode for handel Jeg har lest hver handelsbok noensinne skrevet og kan ærlig si at jeg ikke har lært noe verdifullt fra noen av dem.7 Strategisk kanten Jeg handler strategier som har en påvist matematisk kant bevist over tusenvis av handler Hvis du handler med et system og du ikke vet om det har en kant enn du bor på håp, ikke logikk.8 disiplin Hver strategi har wining og tap er tiden der de dårlige handelsmenn blåser ut når de har 10 vinnere på rad de begynn å tro at de er veivisere og begynner å plassere mye større handler som aldri ender bra. Hver strategi har en nedtredelsesperiode på en gang, det er ikke uvanlig at jeg har 20 tap på rad. Dette er hvor dårlige handelsmenn begynner å øke det e bet størrelse for å gjenvinne de tidligere tapene Dette vil trolig utgjøre 90 prosent av konto blowouts.9 Aldri gjennomsnittet ned på dine muligheter vil det rive din konto før eller senere.10 din strategi skal være logisk har en kant og har veldig liten beslutning procces.11 Bare kjøp på oksestenger bare selg på bjørnestenger Glem toppanalyse og trenden er vennen din og sammenløp disse ordene blir fortalt av folk som ikke handler heltid for det meste clueless pretenders.12 tidsramme utvalg hvis du handler av daglige diagrammer i motsetning til t0 1 timers diagrammer, vil uttellingstiden være mye lengre, bare fordi du har utleierhandler, og du vil handle mye større. 13 fordeler risikoer små for å vinne store Det er 2 store kanter i handel som ingen pro forteller deg 1 er tid den andre vil du utdanne deg selv hvis du seriøst nok til å bli en lønnsom handelsmann. Nå for den delen som de få rike hurtiggurene vil ikke fortelle deg. Ikke hver kropp kan være en lønnsom handelsmann uansett hvor hardt de t ry det er så enkelt at det ikke er en skuespiller eller hjernekirurg eller fotballspiller. Det tar tid å lære kunsten å handle min 6000 timers skjermtid, ikke inkludert ttradevalg og backtesting. Jeg har brukt år på å stirre på dataskjermer minimum 14 timer på trading dager pluss ser på min iphone et par ganger om natten når jeg er i seng. glem om grunnleggende analyse jeg konsekvent tapt i 5 år med det det gjør deg til en prediktor og ikke en reaktor. Jeg har vært handel forex i over 10 år Det tok meg 6 år og ca 10000 timer med å miste og vinne, men for det meste å miste jeg har prøvd hver metode som er opprettet, og de fleste er totalt søppel i også tapt hundretusener av dollar i denne tiden. Når jeg snakker med folk som har prøvd fx og si det en svindel er vanligvis en lignende historie. De dro til et seminar på helgen, åpnet en 10k-konto og forventet å være rik på julen. Eller de var i topp 1 prosent av skolen og tanke etterretning var det som ville være nøkkelen til suksess. De viktigste tingene er disiplin, dette tar år å mestre og designe din egen strategi som passer din personlighet. Markedet er den reneste form for ærlighet Det bryr seg ikke hvilken farge huden din er hvilken skole du dro til om din rike eller fattige alle som matere er hvis du vinner eller mister, og hvis du virkelig ønsker å tjene penger i forex, er det en lang vanskelig vei, men jeg takker gud hver dag, jeg holder fast med det. Lag et svar Avbryt svar. Forex Tester er en programvare som simulerer handel i forexmarkedet. Det er utviklet for deg å lære å handle profittabelt, og å skape, teste og forfinne din strategi for manuell og automatisk handel. Test og forbedre strategien for konsistent og økende fortjeneste. Få trygg på din strategi slik at du kan holde et klart hode, handle umiddelbart på handelsmuligheter og unngå feil når du handler live senere. Få en erfaren og vellykket handelsmann på kort tid. INNVEST I DIN SUCCESS. FOREX TESTER SOFTWARE. St Patrick s Day Sale. A 50 rabatt på backtesting software. From 301 til 400 av data feed alone. Save fra 68 til 500 ved å kjøpe en pakke. Tilbudet utløper. Kampanjen er aktiv kun for Forex Tester Data tjenester og Forex Tester Data tjenester vil bli kjøpt med en vanlig rate. Alle som kjøper Forex Tester får følgende for FREE. Very enkle metoder for å få backtesting experience.5 pris action-baserte EAs sammen med en detaljert instruksjon om strategier regler. Test disse strategiene ut og se for deg selv om du kan komponere et solidt handelssystem. En populær ekspertrådgiver. Lønnshandel handelssystem som viser at man kan handle profitt selv uten noen teknisk analyse involved.16 års historisk data. 1-minutters data på 16 av den vanligste valutaen par, gull og sølv.11-trinns plan for hvordan du får mest mulig ut av backtesting. With papir om hvordan du finner en lønnsom strategi viktige forslag om hvordan du skal lykkes i det virkelige markedet i fremtiden. Risk beregning n Money management table. The white paper og Excel-filen vil tillate deg å holde deg i markedet selv om du fortsetter å miste alle dine handler. Hvordan velge en megler. Mykt papir på den mest avgjørende delen av Forex markedet. Forex Tester 3 har blitt utgitt. Forex Tester har fått enda flere funksjoner og er konfigurert enda enklere. Informasjon om de viktigste funksjonene til Forex Tester 2 som også vil være i Forex Tester 3. Hvis du allerede bruker Forex Tester 2, kan du laste ned veiledning om hvordan du flytter dine prosjekter, maler og data her. Statistikk avslører sann ytelse Du kan ta notater på hver handel. Hold en handelskatalog og eksporter handelsloggen til analyse på Excel eller andre programmer. Det er ikke lenger behov for å stole på estimater. , eller til og med på ønskesøkt. Medmennesker må stole på forutsetninger og tro på hva andre forteller dem. Profesjonelle gjør imidlertid sine beslutninger basert på fakta Forex Tester vil levere de fulle fakta om strategiene dine Hvis en strategi er ikke lønnsomt, vil du finne ut det raskt med Forex Tester i motsetning til testing i en demo-konto. Nå kan du forbedre det eller investere tid i å utvikle en annen strategi. Likeledes, hvis du har en god strategi, vil du ønske å handle så snart som mulig Forex Tester leverer resultatene du trenger å gjøre det med tillit God strategi Forex Tester vil fortelle deg at du kan begynne å handle det nå uten å nøle. Når det kommer til å teste en handelsstrategi, kan optimalisering av parametrene ta det fra ok til gode Forex Tester gjør denne prosessen enklere enn noensinne Å vite hvilke parametere som gjør strategiplanen din, vil ikke bare gjøre strategien bedre, men det kan også bidra til å generere ideer til nye strategier. Oppgi Forex Tester s nyhetsbrev og motta.7 hvite papirer om de viktigste aspektene av trading.3 lønnsomme strategier som vi har testet for deg. Beskrivelsen av kjernen Forex Tester s features. Forex Tester simulerer forex markedet med enestående realisme I manua I testmodus kan du teste strategier og trene dine handelsferdigheter på simulerte år med data på bare noen få timers sanntid. Hvordan er dette mulig Forex Tester jobber sammen med den registrerte prisbevegelsen på det virkelige valutamarkedet historiske prisdata. I likhet med musikkopptak , kan du spole fremover, pause eller hoppe rett til de mest interessante øyeblikkene. Du kan gå tilbake til et hvilket som helst tidspunkt i registrerte prisdata, og hvis du tidligere har lagret et testprosessprosjekt, kan du også gjenopprette alle dine åpne handel, handelshistorie og kontosaldo på din simulerte meglerkonto i øyeblikket av simuleringen. Magasiner som publiserte artikler om Forex Tester. Ja, virkelig Forex Tester hjelper, sparer tid og gir deg mulighet til å lære raskt og sjekke ut teknikkene og teorier som eksisterer på Internett Du kan jobbe dem ut under visse omstendigheter, og når det ser ut til at du har funnet noen s hellige gral og å være på et høyt følelsesmessig nivå, sjekker du alt QUICKLY på Tester som ikke venter på måneder for å miste innskuddet ditt, men for å finne ut om strategien om en time eller to, og forstå hvem som hadde rett. Og programmet viser at det er mulig å tjene penger på Forex. Mange takk for programmet ditt, jeg Jeg er glad for at jeg har kjøpt den, les mer. Et MUST-have-verktøy Som en prisavlesingsentusiast har Forex Tester utrolig hjelp til å kutte ned på min lærekurve. Jeg har ikke funnet noe annet program som egentlig kan gjøre hva dette gjør - og tro meg, jeg har sett Lett å installere og bruke. Dessuten er kundesupporten deres den beste. Dette er et flott program, og går veldig langt for å teste systemer uten å vente på uker for å se resultatene. Eventuelle planer for å bygge en som tillater Eminis og Futures-kontrakter. Jeg vil være først i kø for å kjøpe en. God dag Forex Tester tillot meg å fremskritt i min handel og ga meg muligheten til å forstå flere globale prinsipper for pris handling dette programmet er for de som har unikt bestemt å finne ut hva trading virkelig er, jeg vil glede meg til å bruke det som en tester for en robot, men til og med de tingene jeg har forstått ved hjelp av dette programmet, kan nesten ikke overvurderes. Takk. Hei Takk for Forex Tester-programmet. Jeg har ikke angret på å kjøpe det selv for et øyeblikk. Det hjelper meg med å utvikle handelsstrategier. Med Forex Tester er det mye raskere å lære handel. Jeg har brukt dette hver dag til å trene i omtrent en måned nå, og dette verktøyet har vært det beste jeg har kjøpt i min FX Trading karriere. Det tok litt tid å få kartene satt opp med maler, spesielt for strategien min, men Det er vel verdt innsatsen. Du hører sikkert dette hele tiden, men jeg ønsker ærlig at dette var den første jeg kjøpte, da det ville ha gjort en enorm forskjell for meg på veien. Et utmerkede program som gjør meg mytisk til prisaktive kjærlighet Takk for at du har gitt deg så fantastisk hjelp til oss som trenger å lære raskere. Jeg bruker det som sko hver dag, for det meste jeg bruker det til å slappe av noen ganger. Finn høyere Sannsynlighetssettinger hele tiden hjelper så mye takk igjen. Forex Tester har hjulpet meg mye til å forbedre resultatene av min handel. Jeg ble mer trygg på valg og testing av handelsstrategier. Jeg fikk også en utmerket mulighet til å sjekke nye handelsideer raskt og kvalitativt. Den 16. april kjøpte jeg endelig Forex Tester-programmet etter en lang periode med å tenke på det. Nå 4 måneder senere har jeg skapt min egen handelsstrategi ved hjelp av dette programmet som gir meg en ikke-for - dårlig inntekt på Forex markedet Jeg tester kontinuerlig nye strategier som blir forbedret mens du tester Takket være alle utviklerne av dette fantastiske programmet. Forex Tester er absolutt det beste programmet for å trene noen sm årlig strategi Etter en lang periode med å jobbe med Forex Tester, fikk jeg muligheten til å prognostisere bevegelsene på et ekte diagram. Også, Forex Tester hjalp meg til å avvise en god del håpløse strategier og å forbedre mine arbeidende. Jeg må si at dette er et flott verktøy Selv om jeg bare har demoert prøveversjonen, er jeg glad jeg fant den Så langt har jeg ikke funnet noe lignende som ikke krever høye månedlige avgifter bare for å komme inn i døren og prøve, eller var så altfor komplisert at du føler at du trenger å være en programmerer bare for å ta ditt første skritt. Dette tillater noen på en smertefri måte å trene og teste ut teorier og strategier uten å være kjedet hele natten til London-sesjonen eller så trøtt og slå opp etterpå at New York-økten føles som ni runder med en bokser som puster i ansiktet ditt, les mer. Det har vært lang tid siden 2008 at jeg har vært på Forex jeg startet flere ganger og flere ganger forlot det for en lenge siden, ganske enkelt fordi resultatene mine etterlot seg mye å være ønsket - fortjeneste tapet spredte seg rundt nullmerket jeg kjøpte Forex Tester høsten 2013 Jeg begynte å bruke det og bygge min handelsstrategi Programmet tillater en å se resultatene av deres ideer veldig raskt, og utdanningen ion prosess går mye raskere erfaring og den sjette sansen er akkumulert som ikke kan mottas ved hjelp av noen bok eller teoretisk studie. Mitt system ble endelig bygget i slutten av 2013 og siden den gang jeg handler lønnsomt og stabilt, anser jeg dette programmet som en av de mest fordelaktige investeringene i min utdanning, les mer. Valutahandel er en av de mest kompliserte måtene å tjene penger. For å lykkes i forexmarkedet trenger en handelsmann å utvikle følgende 3 avdelinger. Lønnsforvaltning. Hvis forexopplæringen din ikke involverer minst en av disse viktige trinnene, vil du definitivt miste på sikt. Vår handelssimulator gjør det mulig for folk å forbedre sin kunnskap og ferdigheter på alle disse områdene. Psykologi Når det gjelder evolusjon, har mennesker ikke tilpasset seg handel. Med andre ord , vi har alle vært fryktelige forhandlere helt fra begynnelsen fordi vårt DNA ikke har de nødvendige funksjonene til å fungere effektivt. Selv om du lærte alle insene og d outs av markedet i teorien, vil du fortsatt ikke være klar til å handle uten en sterk evne til å kontrollere tankene dine og følelser. Den eneste måten å virkelig takle dette området er å bruke en forex-simulator. Handelssimulering er bedre enn demo og ekte kontoer Med demo-kontoer må du vente lenge for å åpne en god handel. Med livekontoer får du en følelse for det virkelige markedet, men fordi du ikke har mestret dine følelser, vil du fortsette å handle ulogisk og miste din innskudd svært raskt Med vår handelssimulator har handelsmenn muligheten til å være i en spennende atmosfære der de ikke vet hvordan markedet skal bevege seg, slik det er tilfelle med en live konto. Samtidig kan forhandlere bestemme at informasjonen umiddelbart funksjonen som tilbys av verken demo kontoer eller live kontoer Kort sagt vil vår backtesting programvare gi deg alle markedsanalysen verktøyene du trenger for å tamme din inkonsekvente natur. Metoden Overfloden av trading strategi s som er tilgjengelige på Internett, skaper den falske troen på at du har alt du trenger. Men hvis du prøver den riktige forex trading simulatoren, vil du umiddelbart oppdage at dette er en stor løgn. De aller fleste av disse såkalte lønnsomme strategiene som bloggere og pseudo - traders fremme kan gi deg noen lønnsomme handler, men til slutt vil de skape en betydelig nedgang i ditt innskudd. Mens du lærer å navigere i den komplekse verden av forex trading, er den viktigste regelen dette ikke å stole på. Hvis du re for åpen for hva andre har å si, risikerer du å ødelegge dine 3 mest kraftige eiendeler tid, penger og selvtillit Hvis du velger å ikke teste strategiene til tvilsomme kilder, vil du til slutt miste alle pengene du har spart for handel. , uten en form for forex backtesting programvare, vil du tilbringe hundrevis eller tusenvis av timer lære om forex markedet uten å gi noen positive resultater Dessuten, medou t Forex-treningsprogramvare, vil du ende opp med å bli frustrert og deprimert. Hvilke vanlige folk vil bruke sin tid, penger og innsats på denne fruktfrie oppgaven. Det er bare 2 muligheter tilgjengelig for deg nå. Eller velg veien til feil eller kjøp hva som sannsynligvis er beste handelssimulator eksisterer og unngå å miste noe Ingen kan garantere at du vil lære å handle med vår handelssimulator, men alt avhenger av arbeidsmoral, dedikasjon og evne til å analysere dine læringsmetoder og handelshandlinger. Det avhenger av om du ta de riktige avgjørelsene og hold fast med dem. Lønnsadministrasjon Det er mange smarte og disiplinerte handelsmenn som fortsatt ikke kan lykkes i valutamarkedet Årsaken til dette er at de mangler en utrolig verdifull søyle i sin handel. De misforstår helt viktigheten av penger. ledelse Valutahandel krever at handelsmenn følger strenge regler om hvor mye de har råd til å miste på en enkelt handel og hvor mange handler de kan miste i måneden Hvis du forsømmer disse faste regler, eller hvis du ikke betaler nok oppmerksomhet til dem, vil du aldri ta din handel til det profesjonelle nivået. Man kan gjøre fantastiske handelsbeslutninger, være fullt ansvarlig for sine følelser og vinn mest handler Men all denne suksessen kan være ubrukelig med en enkelt handel som ble åpnet der handelsmannen ikke klarte å holde seg til de grunnleggende prinsippene for pengeforvaltning. Backtesting tillater imidlertid handelsmenn å bygge opp sin kunnskap om disse prinsippene Kort sagt, forex trening er umulig uten forex-programvare, spesielt uten en handelssimulator. Start med å skarpe dine pengehåndteringsferdigheter i dag ved hjelp av Forex Tester 3, den beste handelssimulatoren man kan finne. Korrekt feilene dine Effektiv læring om forex trading inkluderer muligheten til å korrigere feilene dine De fleste handelsfolk forstår ikke at det er praktisk talt umulig å lære forex ved å bruke demo og live kontoer Demo-kontoer gir deg en sjanse til å lære fore x trading hvis du har dusinvis av år foran deg og livekontoer gjør det umulig for deg å fikse feilene Du har allerede mistet handelen eller handelen, og forexanalysen vil hjelpe deg med å unngå å gjøre de samme feilene i fremtiden, men du kan ikke forandre fortiden Forex-simulatorer som igjen kan ta deg tilbake i tid, slik at du virkelig kan rette feilene dine umiddelbart, du kan backtest din strategi så mange ganger du trenger. Denne fantastiske forex-treningsprogramvaren vil hjelpe deg med å fikse feilene dine uten påvirker dine virkelige penger. Statistikkstatistikk Ikke bare kan du fikse eventuelle feil du har gjort, men du kan også ta forex trading opplæring til et høyere nivå ved å bruke detaljert statistikk. Vår handelssimulator har mange innebygde parametere for å evaluere din trading ytelse Med Forex Tester backtesting programvare, er det ikke nødvendig å simulere markedet i mørket. Nå er alle nødvendige komponenter inkludert. Netto og brutto fortjeneste, maksimal profitt og tap handel, maksimal drawdown og andre verdier vil forbedre din forex valuta handel i tide. Må å installere avinstallere Forex Tester 3.You kan lese detaljerte instruksjoner om hvordan du installerer Forex Tester her. Hvis du ikke er fornøyd med vår Forex Tester programvare som er veldig sjelden tilfellet er det enkelt å avinstallere det ved å fullføre følgende prosedyre. Startmeny Alle programmer Forex Tester Avinstaller Forex Tester. Forex Tester. Forex Tester er en programvare som simulerer handel i Forex markedet, slik at du kan lære å handle profittabelt, skape, teste og forfine din strategi for manuell og automatisk trading. Software til å kopiere handler mellom MT4-kontoer Støtter alle meglere, har mange funksjoner som Lot Risk Management, filtrering og Reverse Trading, Lifetime Support. Vi hjelper deg med å bli intelligente Money Managers og få du går inn i eliten gruppen som faktisk gjør penger trading Forex. Software som åpner handler i en brøkdel av et sekund med en innebygd risikostyring kalkulator Angi forhåndsdefinert stopputslipp Ta fortjeneste for øyeblikkelige oppføringer Kompatibel med Forex Tester og MT4.Logic av en økonom. Et parti av økonomer klatret i Alpene Etter flere timer ble de håpløst tapt. En av dem studerte kartet for en stund, snu den opp og ned, ser på fjerne landemerker, konsulterer kompasset, og til slutt solen. Til slutt sa han, OK, se det store fjellet der borte. Ja, svarte de andre ivrig. Vel, ifølge kartet står vi på toppen av den. Q Med den nåværende markedstroen, hva er den enkleste måten å gjøre en liten formue på. Start med en stor. En kone kommer inn og roper, Honey Pack din klær jeg nettopp vant lotteriet Hennes mann roper tilbake, men hva skal jeg pakke Hustruen svarer, jeg DON T CARE PACK OG GÅ UT. Hvorfor ikke østers gi til veldedighet Fordi de blir skalldyr. En langsiktig investering er en kort sikt investering som mislyktes. En mann går inn i en New York City-bank og sier at han ønsker å låne 2.000 i tre uker. Lånepersonen spør ham hva slags sikkerhet han har. Mannen sier jeg har en Rolls Royce - hold den til Lånet er betalt - her er nøklene. Lånepersonen har omgående kjørt bilen inn i bankens underjordiske parkeringsplass for å sikre seg, og gir mannen 2000. Tre uker senere kommer mannen inn i banken, betaler tilbake 2000 lån, pluss 10 renter, og gjenvinning av Rolls Royce. Utlånsbehandleren spør ham, sir, om jeg kan spør, hvorfor skulle en mann som driver en Rolls Royce, måtte låne to tusen dollar. Mannen svarer, jeg måtte gå til Europa i tre uker, og hvor ellers kunne jeg lagre en Rolls Royce for så lenge på ti dollar. En ny lederen tilbringer en uke på sitt nye meglerkontor med sjefen han erstatter. På den siste dagen forteller avreiseansvarlig ham at jeg har forlatt tre nummererte konvolutter i bordskuffen. Åpne en konvolutt hvis du støter på en krise du ikke kan løse Tre måneder ned sporet der er et stort drama, alt går galt - det vanlige sporet - og lederen føler seg veldig truet av alt. Han husker forgjengerens avskjedsord og åpner den første konvolutten. Innlegget sier at Blame forgjengeren Han gjør dette og får I løpet av et halvt år senere opplever selskapet en dukkert i salg, kombinert med alvorlige markedsproblemer. Overordnet åpner den andre konvolutten. Meldingen leses, reorganiserer dette han gjør, og selskapet raskt gjenoppretter. Tre m hilsen senere, ved sin neste krise åpner han den tredje konvolutten Innlegget sier: Forbered tre konvolutter. En kvinne hører fra legen at hun bare har et halvt år å leve. Legen anbefaler henne å gifte seg med en økonom. Kvinnen spør, vil dette kurere min sykdom Legen svarer, Nei, men de seks månedene vil virke som en levetid. Smart Investing Hvis du hadde kjøpt 1000 000 Nortel-aksjer for ett år siden, ville det nå være verdt 49 00. Med Enron ville du ha 16 50 av den opprinnelige 1.000 00. Med WorldCom vil du ha mindre enn 5 00 igjen. Hvis du hadde kjøpt 1000 000 kroner Budweiser, ølet, ikke aksjemarkedet for ett år siden, drakk all øl, og så i boksene for 10 sent innskudd, ville du ha 214 00. En kvinne stolt fortalte sin venn, jeg er ansvarlig for å gjøre min mann til en millionær Vel hva var han før han giftet seg med vennen din, spurte En milliardær. Hvorfor gav søsteren penger penger til sin ku - Fordi hun ønsket å bli rik melk. - Pappa, vil du spare penger - Jeg ville sikkert, sønn Eventuelle forslag - sikkert hvorfor ikke kjøpe meg en sykkel, så jeg vant t skoene mine så fort. - hvorfor gjør lommebøker så mye støy - fordi penger snakker. Et par tyver brøt inn i ferieleiligheten min og stjal 10.000 euro. I hvert fall de ikke tok noe av noe verdi. Markedet er rart Hver gang en fyr selger, kjøper en annen, og de tror begge de er klare. Han brukte på et finansbyrå for en jobb, men han hadde ingen erfaring Han var så intens at lederen ga ham en tøff konto med løftet om at hvis han samlet det, fikk han jobben. To timer senere kom Schneider tilbake med hele beløpet. Amazing lederen sa hvordan gjorde du det. Enkel Schneider svarte jeg fortalte ham om han ikke betalte, jeg forteller alle sine andre kreditorer han betalte oss. Hvor mye penger trenger du. Hva er nok penger? Bare litt mer Will Rogers. Hvis du kan telle pengene dine , du har ikke en milliard dollar J Paul Getty. En milliard her, en milliard der, og ganske snart du snakker om virkelige penger Everett Dirksen. En engelsk lærer ba henne om å skrive et essay om hva de ville gjøre hvis de hadde en million pund. John ga inn et blankt papir. John ropte læreren, du har ikke gjort noe hvorfor. Fordi hvis jeg hadde en million pund, det er akkurat det jeg ville si, John. Den beste tiden å kjøpe noe er i fjor. En kveld så en rådgiver Max på hendene og knærne. Hva gjør du hun spurte jeg leter etter min dollar regningen svarte Max at jeg mistet den nedover veien. Hvorfor ser du ikke det der, fordi lyset er bedre her. Hvorfor har astrologi blitt oppfunnet, slik at økonomien kan være en nøyaktig vitenskap. Min søster ble forelsket i andre øye da hun først møtte ham, hun visste ikke hvor rik han var. Da Albert Einstein døde, møtte han tre New Zealanders i køen utenfor Pearly Gates. For å passere tiden spurte han hva som var deres IQ. Den første svarte 190 Wonderful, utbrøt Einstein. Vi kan diskutere Ernest Rutherfords bidrag til atom ic fysikk og min teori om generell relativitet Den andre svarte 150 God, sa Einstein Jeg gleder meg til å diskutere rollen som New Zealand s atomfri lovgivning i søken etter verdensfred Den tredje New Zealander mumlet 50 Einstein pause og spurte da, Så hva er din prognose for budsjettunderskudet neste år. Ikke vær i seng, med mindre du kan tjene penger i sengen, George Burns. Washington, DCA-reiseguiden viste turist rundt Washington, DC. Guiden pekte på stedet der George Washington angivelig kastet en dollar over Potomac-elven. Det er umulig, sa turisten. Ingen kunne kaste en mynt så langt. Du må huske, svarte guiden. En dollar gikk mye lenger i disse dager. Det er bare bra å finne online, jeg finner det virkelig hastigheter ting opp Jeg får nå min marginsamtaler 5x raskere enn før. Studerende student kysser en jente Pike Hva er denne gutten Den heter DIRECT MARKETING Jenta slår gutten Gutt Hva er denne jenta Dette er Kundefeed BACK. Q Hva er d Ifference mellom Investment Bankers og London Pigeons A Duene er fortsatt i stand til å gjøre innskudd på ny BMW sA minister dør og venter i kø på Pearly Gates foran ham er en fyr som er kledd i solbriller, en høy skjorte, skinnjakke, og jeans Saint Peter adresserer denne fyren, hvem er du, slik at jeg kan vite om du ikke skal innrømme deg i Himlens rike? Han svarer, jeg m Joe Cohen, aksjemegler, Noo Yawk City Saint Peter konsulterer sin liste han smiler og sier til megleren, Ta denne silkenskjorten og det gylne personalet og gå inn i Himmelens Rike. Morselskapet går inn i himmelen med kappen og staben, og det er ministerens sving. Han står oppreist og stikker ut, jeg er Joseph Snow, pastor av Saint Mary s for de siste førti og tre år Saint Peter konsulterer sin liste Han sier til ministeren, Ta denne bomullskjortet og trepersonalet og gå inn i Himmelriket Bare et minutt, sier ministeren Den mannen var en aksjemegler - han får en silke kappe og gull ansatte, men jeg, en minister, får bare en bomullskjort og trepersonell Hvordan kan dette være her oppe, vi jobber med resultater, sier Saint Peter Mens du forkynte, sov folk sine klienter, de ba. Fra en handelsmann Dette er verre enn en skilsmisse Jeg har mistet halvparten av min nettoverdi og jeg har fortsatt en kone. Tre gutter gikk en gang på stranden når de ser en hule. Den første gutten går inn og ser på en seddel på en stor stein når en spøkelses stemme ringer ut Jeg er spøkelset av tante Abel og disse fem dollar forblir på bordet Den andre gutten går inn og når for pengene når det samme skjer igjen Den tredje gutten går inn, ser de fem dollarene og gråter ut, jeg er spøkelset av David Crockett og denne fem dollar går i lommen min. En langsiktig investering er en kortsiktig investering som mislyktes. Topp 10 tegn du trenger en ny bank.10 Når du lager et innskudd, forteller du høyt fem hverandre.9 Etter at du har få en gratis brødrister, bankpresident viser seg på ditt hus og ber om toast.8 Din månedlige statemen ts er håndskrevet, i krystall.7 Når du ønsker å trekke seg tilbake, snakker kontoristene plutselig ikke engelsk.6 Du legger merke til at Kato Kaelin sover i hvelvet.5 Din safe er en Dunkin Donuts-kartong innpakket i tinnfolie.4 Alle kontanter innskudd går direkte inn i teller s pants.3 Lobbyen er midje dyp i meksikanske pesos.2 Tollfrit kundeservice linje er 1-800-GET-HOSED.1 Fire ord Bank President Rosa Lopez. Ted sa til sin venn, kan du låne meg 10 Men jeg har bare 8, svarte hans venn Det er OK, du kan alltid skylde meg den andre 2. Bankmannen falt overbord fra en venn s seilbåt. Vennen tok en livsbeholder, holdt opp, ikke vite om bankmannen kunne svømme og ropte: Kan du flyte alene. Åpenbart svarte banken, men dette er en god tid til å snakke business. New madrass En mann MAN kaller sin fx forhandler DEALER alle engstelig og utåndet med dette haster i stemmen sier han, MAN Lukk alle mine stillinger, alt fort, med en gang. Fx-forhandleren prøver å snakke med mannen bu t mannen sier, MAN La meg fortelle deg en hemmelighet Du vet at jeg har vært gift i 6 år nå, og jeg har vært klienten din i 5 år DEALER Ja, fortsett, sier FX-forhandleren MAN Vel Min kone har denne tingen om markedet Hennes besteforeldre mistet alt i GBP-krasjet og siden da fant familien sin i markedet i tilknytning til den opprinnelige synden Da vi giftet seg, lovet jeg henne at jeg ville følge i foreldrene sine fotspor og aldri våge i valutamarkedet og alltid forlate alle pengene våre under madrassen DEALER Wow, jeg visste ikke at jeg antar at du vil ha pengene fordi du mister MAN Nei, jeg vil ha pengene fordi hun bestilte en ny madrass, og den blir levert om to dager. Elsk, det ble ut, var akkurat som sex, du tenkte ikke på noe annet hvis du ikke hadde det og tenkte på andre ting hvis du gjorde James Baldwin. Intervjuer Hva er resesjon kandidat Når vin og kvinner blir erstattet av vann og kone den kritiske fasen av livet er Kalt Recession. Frog To kvinner gikk t gjennom skogen når en froskfrost ringte til dem og sa FROG Hjelp meg, damer jeg er en megler som gjennom en ond heksens forbannelse har blitt forvandlet til en frosk Hvis en av dere kysser meg, vil jeg bli returnert til min tidligere stat En kvinne tok ut sin veske, grep frosken og stoppet den i håndvesken hennes. Den andre kvinnen ANDRE KVINN, forferdet, skrek. ANDRE KVINNER Har du ikke hørt ham Hvis du kysser ham, blir han en aksjemegler Den andre kvinnen ANDRE KVINNEN svarte, SECOND WOMAN Visst, men i dag er en snakkende frosk verdt mer enn en aksjemegler. Inflasjon gir deg mulighet til å bo i et dyrere nabolag uten å flytte. Markedet er merkelig Hver gang en fyr selger, kjøper en annen, og de begge tror at de er smarte. - Hvordan kan du være sikker på at du har forfalsket penger? Hvis det er en tre dollarregning, kan du være sikker. Hvis du setter to økonomer i et rom, får du to meninger, med mindre en av dem er Herre Keynes, i så fall får du tre meninger. Hver morgen står jeg opp og ser gjennom Forbes-listen over de rikeste menneskene i Amerika Hvis jeg ikke er der, går jeg på jobb - Robert Orben. Den mest vellykkede kvinnelige finansmannen var Pharoahs datter. Hun dro til Nilen og fløt en profet. Moren Hvorfor slukket du bare penger jeg ga deg sønn Vel, du sa at det var min lunsjpenger. Litt Johnny ble undervist av læreren under en aritmetisk leksjon. Hvis du hadde ti dollar, sa læreren, og jeg spurte deg om et lån på åtte dollar, hvor mye ville du ha forlatt Ti, sa Little Johnny fast. Ti læreren sa Hvordan gjør du det ti. Vel, svarte Little Johnny. Du kan be om et lån på åtte dollar, men det betyr ikke at du får det. En investeringsbankør stod ved bryggen i en liten kystmeksikansk landsby da en liten båt med bare en fisker dokket inne i den lille båten var flere store gulfinnet tunfisk Bankmannen komplimenterte fiskeren på kvaliteten på sin fisk og spurte hvor lang tid det tok å fange dem. Fiskeren svarte, bare litt. Bankeren spurte hvorfor hvorfor ikke han bli lenger og fange mer Fiskeren sa at han hadde nok til å støtte sin families umiddelbare behov. Bankeren spurte da, men hva gjør du med resten av tiden din. Fiskeren sa at jeg sover sent, fisk litt, lek med barna mine, ta siestas med min kone, spasere inn i landsbyen hver kveld hvor jeg nipper til vin og spille gitar med mine amigoer. Jeg har en full og travel liv. Investoren scoffed, jeg er en Ivy League MBA og kan hjelpe deg. Du bør bruke mer tid fiske og med inntektene, kjøp en større båt Med inntektene fra den større båten kan du kjøpe flere båter, og til slutt vil du ha en flåte med fiskebåter. Investoren fortsatte. Og i stedet for å selge fangsten til en mellommann, vil du da selge direkte til prosessoren, og til slutt åpne din egen cannery You would control the product, processing, and distribution You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise. The fisherman asked, But how long will this all take. To which the banker replied, Perhaps 15 to 20 years. But what then asked the fisherman. The banker laughed and said, That s the best part When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich You would make millions. Millions Okay, then what wondered the fisherman. To which the investment banker replied, Then you would retire You could move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, and stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos. If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tellers. A student asked a professor of economics - What is the difference between socialism and capitalism The professor answered - Capitalism is the exploitation of humans by humans The Student - And socialism The professor - It s the inverse of course. In pizzeria A forex guru GURU walks into a pizzeria to order a pizza There the waiter WAITER asks him WAITER Should I cut it into six pieces or eight pieces GURU I m feeling rather hungry right now You d better cut it into eight pieces. I was so poor growing up if I wasn t a boy I d have nothing to play with Rodney Dangerfield. Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for 10 each The villagers, seeing that there we re many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at 10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort He further announced that he would now buy at 20 This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms The offer increased to 25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it. The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at 50 However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected I will sell them to you at 35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for 50 each. The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys. They never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere. Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works. A woman was cleaning her husbands dresser drawers when she found 3 golf balls and a box with 2000 in it She waited for him to come home from the golf course to ask him why these things were hidden in his dresser drawer. The husband said I m sorry I hid this from you but the truth is every time I cheated on you over the last 30 years I put a golf ball in the drawer. The wife was very upset at first but after thinking about it said I guess 3 times in 30 years is really not that bad Oh by the way what is the 2000 in the drawer. The husband replied Well every time I got to a dozen balls I sold them. Father to daughter upon her announcing her engagement What does he do Does he have any money Daughter You men are all alike That s the first thing he asked me about you. There are two types of economists - those who cannot forecast interest rates, and - those who do not know that they cannot forecast interest rates. An FBI agent is interviewing a bank teller after the bank had been robbed 3 times by the same bandit Did you notice anything special about the man asks the agent Yes, replies the teller He was better dressed each time. My broker and I are working on a retirement plan Unfortunately, it s his. A young stockbroker decided to take a day off and visit some of his professors in his old school When he made his way into the entrance he noticed a dog was attacking a small child He quickly grabbed the dog and throttled it with his two hands. The next day the local newspaper reported the story with the headline, Valiant student saves boy from ferocious dog. The stockbroker called the editor and strongly suggested that a correction be issued and that the paper will tell the readers he was a successful Wall Street broker and not a student. The next day the newspaper issued a correction and the headline read, Pompous stockbroker kills school mascot. Five dollars for one question said the girl to the fortune-teller That s very expensive, isn t it Next. Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory We are very sorry, but it s the best we can do and you will have to share the room with others he is told by the doorman. Einstein says that this is no problem at all and that there is no need to make such a great fuss So the doorman leads him to the dorm They enter and Albert is introduced to all of the present inhabitants See, Here is your first room mate He has an IQ of 180 Why that s wonderful Says Albert We can discuss mathematics. And here is your second room mate His IQ is 150 Why that s wonderful Says Albert We can discuss physics. And here is your third room mate His IQ is 100 That Wonderful We can discuss the latest plays at the theater. Just then another man moves out to capture Albert s hand and shake it I m your last room mate and I m sorry, but m y IQ is only 80 Albert smiles back at him and says, So, where do you think interest rates are headed. After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news Honey, we ve finally got enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1979 You mean a brand-new Cadillac she asked eagerly No, said the husband, a 1979 Cadillac. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows You sell one and buy a bull Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AMERICAN CAPITALISM or Enro-capitalism You have two cows You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more Sell one cow to buy influence with a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows No balance sheet provided with the release The public buys your bull. AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows You sell one, accept an LAW tax promised credit payable in 4 year s time, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows You are surprised whe n the cow drops dead. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows You go on strike because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce 20 times the milk You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide. A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows Both are mad. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don t know where they are You break for lunch. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows You count them and learn you have five cows You count them again and learn you have 42 cows You count them again and learn you have 12 cows You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you You charge others for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows You have 300 people milking them You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows That one on the left is kinda cute.- Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire - Sure, here you are - Thanks, but half the pages are missing What s the matter - Isn t half a million enough for you. The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less - Brendon Francis. A father is explaining ethics to his son, who is about to go into business Suppose a woman comes in and orders a hundred dollars worth of material You wrap it up, and you give it to her She pays you with a 100 bill But as she goes out the door you realize she s given you two 100 bills Now, here s where the ethics come in should you or should you not tell your partner. Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says, Where in the hell have you been. Larry replies, I was out getting a tattoo. A tattoo she fr owned What kind of tattoo did you get. I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates, he said proudly. What the hell were you thinking she said, shaking her head in disdain Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred Dollar bill tattooed on his privates. Well, one, I like to watch my money grow Two, once in a while I like to play with my money Three, I like how money feels in my hand And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want. Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun. A rather frugal man asked the bank for a loan of one dollar and was told he would have to pay nine percent interest at the end of the year For security he offered 60,000 in U S bonds The banker, foreseeing a potential depositor, accepted the bonds and gave the man a dollar At the end of the year, he was back with a dollar and nine cents to clear up his debt and asked for the return of his bonds Upon return ing the bonds the banker asked, I don t want to be inquisitive, but since you have all those bonds, why did you have to borrow a dollar Well, said the tightfisted old gent, I really didn t have to But do you know of any other way I could get the use of a safe-deposit box for nine cents a year. A young man from Minnesota moves to Florida and goes to a big everything under one roof department store looking for a job. The Manager says, Do you have any sales experience The kid says Yeah I was a salesman back in Minnesota. Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job You start tomorrow I ll come down after we close and see how you did. His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it After the store was locked up, the boss came down How many customers bought something from you today. The kid says One. The boss says Just One Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day How much was the sale for. The kid says 101, 237 65.The boss says 101,237 65 What the heck did you sell. The kid says, First, I sold him a small fish hook Then I sold hi m a medium fishhook Then I sold him a larger fishhook Then I sold him a new fishing rod Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft Then he said he didn t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition. The boss said, A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK. The kid said No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, Dude, your weekend s shot, you should go fishing. The cost of living is so high now My wife is having to have sex with me because she can t afford the batteries. A man went to his bank manager and said, I d like to start a small business How do I go about it Simple, said the bank manager Buy a big one and wait. Dear Dad, chool i really great I am makin g lot of friend and tudying very hard With all my tuff, I imply can t think of anything I need o if you would like, you can ju t end me a card, a I would love to hear from you Love, Your on. Dear Son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh Love, Dad. My mother decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, Just think, Fred, we are five dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand Good , my dad quickly replied Wash it again. Sex is like my trading account I lose interest as soon as I withdraw.- I see your previous boss says you were a real live wire salesman I m pleased to know that What were you selling - Live wires, sir. If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster c Clint Eastwood. Are you a trader You know you re a trader if Your colleagues call you PIP Daddy You know you re a trader if Anyone got ideas. The real measure of your wealth is how much you d be worth if you lost all your money. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don t need it - Bob Hope. Case in the firm The owner OWNER of a large brokerage firm made a surprise visit at the sales department s floor After a quick tour he reckoned that someone was standing near the secretary, doing nothing He turned angry and red, approached the guy GUY and asked him OWNER What s your salary, young man GUY Around 800 a week, replied the guy The owner pulled out 800 from his pocket, gave it to the guy and shouted OWNER Here s your salary Take it, leave now, and never come back After regaining calmness, the owner turned to the floor manager and asked him OWNER How comes you hire such a lousy person for the sales department The floor manager FM answered FM Well, he doesn t work here He is just the pizza delivery boy. I saw a bank tha t said if offered 24 Hour Banking But I didn t go in I didn t have that much time. I just went partners with my bank They own half my car. It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father Let s try to make this look natural she said Junior, put your arm around your dad s shoulder The father answered, If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket. A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China He s out there now trying to win a trip back. William May I have some money for the man crying outside Mum What crying man William The one that s crying, Ice cream Ice Cream. If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I m prepared to forget it if they are - Errol Flynn. Buddies John meets his buddy George and asks him John Do me a favour, could you lend me 100 George checks in his wallet and his pockets, then replies George Sorry, pal I got only 50 John Only 50 Never mind Give me the 50 you have, a nd you owe me another 50.The student and the professor of economics. A student asked a professor of economics - What is the difference between socialism and capitalism The professor answered - Capitalism is the exploitation of humans by humans The Student - And socialism The professor - It s the inverse of course. If you owe the bank 100, that s your problem If you owe the bank 100 million, that s the bank s problem. A market guru walks into a pizzeria to order a pizza When the pizza is done, he goes up to the counter to get it There a clerk asks him Should I cut it into six pieces or eight pieces The guru replies I m feeling rather hungry right now You d better cut it into eight pieces. A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost He reduced his altitude and saw a man below Excuse me, but can you help me I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don t know where I am, he said. The man below replied You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 ft above the ground Y ou are between 40 and 41 degrees North latitude and between 56 and 57 degrees West longitude. To which the balloonist replied You must be a broker To which the man on the ground said I am, but how did you know. The reply came from above Everything you told me is technically correct but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I m still lost Frankly, you ve not been much help so far. The man below responded You must be a trader To which the balloonist replied Yes, I am, but how did you know. To which the man on the ground said You don t know where you are or where you are going You have risen to your current position due to a large quantity of hot air You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect me to solve your problem The fact is, you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it s my fault. The market may be bad, but I slept like a baby last night I woke up every hour and cried. A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they d have to drastically alter their life-style. If you ll just learn to cook, he said, we can fire the chef. Okay, she said And if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener.- My broker has a new service where they will text you your balance.- It s cool, I just don t think they should add LOL at the end. Italian businessman on his deathbed called his good friend and said, Luigi, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated. And what, his friend asked, do you want me to do with your ashes. The businessman said, Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the IRS and write on the envelope, Now you have everything. A policeman came upon a super-salesman about to jump from a bridge and yelled, Wait, Fellow Please don t do that. The salesman said, Why not and proceeded to expound on his views on the shaky economy, declining family life and politics. Shortly thereafter, they both jumped. At the scene of a bank raid the police officer came running up to his inspector and said, He got away, sir The inspector was furious But I told you to put a man on all the exits he roared How could he have got away He left by one of the entrances, sir. Money can t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy Spike Milligan. October This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February - Mark Twain. Bankers are people that help you with problems you would not have had without them. Bank manager I m sorry, sir, you can t open an account with this sort of money They re wooden pieces Lumberjack But I only want to open a shavings account. I went to the bank and went over my savings I found out I have all the money that I ll ever need if I die tomorrow - Henny Youngman. Inflation is cutting money in half without damaging the paper. A shopkeeper was dismaye d when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES. The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop It read MAIN ENTRANCE. Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine. A guy wearing a singlet and slippers walked into the bank and practically shouted at the teller, Yo woman Who do I speak to to open a bloody bank account in this bloody bank. The teller politely told him to lower his voice as he was disturbing the other customers and that she would be able to open his bank account for him. The guy was practically foaming at the mouth Don t you tell me what to do And no woman is opening my bloody account You women are just good for cooking, cleaning and making babies I wanna speak to a man. The teller got up in a huff, went to the bank manager s office and explained the situation to him The bank manager told her that while the customer was always right, this customer was definitely wrong He went back with the teller to set the guy straight. About time a man showed up The guy was as loud, if not louder than before I just won 25 million dollars in the lottery and this bloody woman insisted that she s capable of opening my bloody account for me. She did, did she The bank manager was almost as loud as the guy She was just supposed to clean the windows and arrange the files Don t mind her Let s go to my bloody office and see what we can do about your bloody account. It s weird, though, cause this is my first time job and everything, but I could ve sworn I was making more money in college just working for my parents as their daughter - Melanie Reno. A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded h im he needed a visa Oh no I dont, Ive been to China many times and never had to have one of those I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa When I told him this he said, Look, Ive been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express. Currency exchange A Japanese guy J is at Los Angeles International Airport, waiting for his flight back home to Japan While he s waiting, he goes to the currency exchange counter to change his remaining dollars He counts his money at the counter and says to the clerk C J Wait a minute When I came here I got more dollars for my yen What s going on here C Fluctuations The Japanese man stiffens J Well Fluck you Americans, too. The economy is the only field in which two people can get the Nobel Prize for saying exactly the opposite thing. Q In these busy market times, how can you get the attention of your broker A Say, Hey, waiter he s waitin always to get the price. What No E-mail. An unemployed man goes to apply for a j ob with Microsoft as a janitor The manager there arranges for him to take an aptitude test Section Floors, sweeping and cleaning After the test, the manager says, You will be employed at minimum wage, 5 25 an hour Let me have your e-mail address, so that I can send you a form to complete and tell you where to report for work on your first day Taken aback, the man protests that he has neither a computer nor an e-mail address To this the MS manager replies, Well, then, that means that you virtually don t exist and can therefore hardly expect to be employed Stunned, the man leaves Not knowing where to turn and having only 10 in his wallet, he decides to buy a 25 lb flat of tomatoes at the supermarket Within less than 2 hours, he sells all the tomatoes individually at 100 profit Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost 100 before going to sleep that night And thus it dawns on him that he could quite easily make a living selling tomatoes Getting up early eve ry day and going to bed late, he multiplies his profits quickly After a short time he acquires a cart to transport several dozen boxes of tomatoes, only to have to trade it in again so that he can buy a pick-up truck to support his expanding business By the end of the second year, he is the owner of a fleet of pick-up trucks and manages a staff of a hundred former unemployed people, all selling tomatoes Planning for the future of his wife and children, he decides to buy some life insurance Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan At the end of the telephone conversation, the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically When the man replies that he has no e-mail, the adviser is stunned, What, you don t have e-mail How on earth have you managed to amass such wealth without the Internet, e-mail and e-commerce Just imagine where you would be now, if you had been connected to the internet from the very start After a mome nt of thought, the tomato millionaire replied, Why, of course I would be a floor cleaner at Microsoft Moral of this story 1 The Internet, e-mail and e-commerce do not need to rule your life 2 If you don t have e-mail, but work hard, you can still become a millionaire 3 Seeing that you got this story via e-mail, you re probably closer to becoming a janitor than you are to becoming a millionaire 4 If you do have a computer and e-mail, you have already been taken to the cleaners by Microsoft. TECH Hello, Friendly Internet May I help you. CUSTOMER Oh, hello young man I was wondering if you offer online banking. TECH We re an Internet service provider, ma am You can certainly use our service to connect to online banking. CUSTOMER What do I need to do that. TECH You just need the modem in your computer That plugs into a phone jack Sign up for an account, and sign up for online banking with your bank. CUSTOMER But where does the money come out. TECH I m not sure I understand. CUSTOMER You know Does t he money come out from that slot on the computer. A stupid bank robber rushed into a bank, pointed two fingers at the clerk and said, This is a muck up Don t you mean a stick up asked the girl No, said the robber, it s a muckup I ve forgotten my gun. Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory We are very sorry, but it s the best we can do and you will have to share the room with others he is told by the doorman Einstein says that this is no problem at all and that there is no need to make such a great fuss So the doorman leads him to the dorm They enter and Albert is introduced to all of the present inhabitants See, Here is your first room mate He has an IQ of 180 Why that s wonderful Says Albert We can discuss mathematics And here is your second room mate His IQ is 150 Why that s wonderful Says Albert We can discuss physics And here is your third room mate His IQ is 100 That Wonderful We can discuss the latest plays at the theater Just then another man moves out to capture Albert s hand and shake it I m your last room mate and I m sorry, but my IQ is only 80 Albert smiles back at him and says, So, where do you think interest rates are headed.- If you found a five dollar bill in every pocket of your coat, what would you have - Someone else s coat. There are two things you are better off not watching in the making sausages and econometric estimates Edward Leamer. The two partners from a small law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them looked alarmed He announced, I have to go back to the office right away I forgot to lock the safe What are you worried about asked the other We re both here. If you can count your money, you don t have a billion dollars. A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice I did What did I tell you said the dad. You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble. W hat are you talking about That s one of the largest banks in the state, he said there must be some mistake. I don t think so, she sniffed They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, Insufficient Funds. A young banker decided to get his first tailor made suit So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit A week later he went in for his first fitting He put on the suit and he looked stunning, he felt that in this suit he can do business. As he was preening himself in front of the mirror he reached down to put his hands in the pockets and to his surprise he noticed that there were no pockets He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, Didn t you tell me you were a banker. The young man answered, Yes, I did. To this the tailor said, Who ever heard of a banker with his hands in his own pockets. When George found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his ill father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with So one evening he went to a singles club where he checked out the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty was astounding it took his breath away I may look like just an ordinary man, he said as he walked up to her, but in just a week or two my father will die, and I ll inherit 15 million dollars. Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening. Three days later, she became his stepmother. Economist One day an economist died and was accidentally sent to hell As we all know, all dogs and economists go to heaven, but in this instance old saint Peter was off his game and our economist joined all the rapists, murderers and forex traders in the underworld After a few weeks in hell the economist realises that it s not such a bad place after all, it s just chronically mismanaged So he implements a plan Within a few months the economy in hell is booming He has the budget in surplus which enables the devil to spend on infrastructure, and investment funds start to flow in, increasing capital expenditures throughout t he entire hellish economy After a year or two God looks down and notices that the standard of living in hell has increased to the point that most of his angels are booking their summer vacations there The beaches are lovely, and face it, heaven is the last place you re gonna find someone who can mix a decent cocktail He phones the devil to ask what s going on Satan explains that they have employed the services of an economist to fix their economy God is not happy You know that all economists go to heaven he yelled, send him back immediately or we re going to sue you The devil just laughed and replied, As if Where are you gonna get your hands on a lawyer. Customer Your watches seem so cheap Only twenty dollars How much does it cost to make them. Shopkeeper They cost me twenty dollars to make them. Customer But if it costs twenty dollars to make these watches, and you sell them for twenty dollars, where does your profit come in. Shopkeeper That comes from repairing them. dialogue between two friends - I hear that you drop some money in Wall Street Were you a bull or a bear - Neither, just a plain simple ass. Helium was up Feathers were down Paper was stationary Knives were up sharply Pencils lost a few points Hiking equipment was trailing Elevators rose, while escalators continued a slow decline Light switches were off Mining equipment hit rock bottom Diapers remained unchanged Shipping lines stayed at an even keel Balloon prices were inflated And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market. I ll send you some money. A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out of it Mom said Sure, sweetie I ll send you some money You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago Do you want me to send that up too Uh, oh yeah, OK, responded the kid So Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book When she gets back, Dad asked We ll, how much did you give the boy this time Mom said Oh, I wrote 2 checks, one for 20, and the other for 1000 That s 1020 yelled Dad, Are you crazy Don t worry hon, Mom said, as she kissed Dad on the on top of his bald head, I taped the 20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the 1000 one somewhere between the pages in Chapter 19.Money talks Trouble is, mine only knows one word Goodbye. At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage. Look, she said We only met a half hour ago How can you be so sure We know nothing about each other. You re wrong, the young man declared For the past 5 years I ve been working in the bank where your father has his account. How did the man feel when he got a big bill from the electric company He was shocked. Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right The third econometrician didn t fire, but shouted in triumph, We got it We got it. An accountant goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot The shop owner shows him three identical parrots on a perch and says, The parrot on the left costs 500 Why does that parrot cost so much asks the accountant Well, replies the owner, it knows how to do complex audits How much does the middle parrot cost asks the accountant That one costs 1,000 because it can do everything the first one can do plus it knows how to prepare financial forecasts The startled accountant asks about the third parrot, to be told it costs 4,000 Needless to say, this begs the question, What can it do To which the owner replies To be honest, I ve never seen him do a darn thing, but the other two call him Senior Partner. An Asian man walked into the currency exchange line in a New York bank with 2000 yen, and he walked out with 72 The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and was handed 66 He asked the teller why he got less money than he had gotten the previous week The lady said, Fluctuations The Asian man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, he turned around and said, Fluc you Amelicans, too. A retired man visited a doctor to seek medical advice for what he suspects as new and very unusual health problems Doc, I feel shortness of breath, dizziness, cold sweats, can t sleep Do you think I will collapse any time soon Doctor Yep You must be from Wall Street. A woman was just getting out of the shower when the doorbell rang She threw on her towel and went to the door Dave, a poker buddy of her husband s was there He looked at her in her towel for a minute and whispered I ll give you 500 right now if you take of your towel for just 10 seconds That s 50 a second She thought about it a second, and th en took off her towel He smiled, gave her the money and walked away When she walked back into the bedroom, her husband asked Was that Dave Did he bring the 500 he owed me. McDonalds just added another item to its 1 value menu Citigroup stock. A Dollar Per Point. A professor was giving a big test one day to his students He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a 100 bill to his test with a note saying A dollar per point The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out This student got back his test, his test grade, and 64 change. A preacher went into his church and he was praying to God While he was praying, he asked God, How long is 10 million years to you God replied, 1 second The next day the preacher asked God, God, how much is 10 million dollars to you And God replied, A penny Then finally the next day the preacher asked God, God, can I have one of your pennies And God replied, Just wait a sec. Lottery A broker named, Jean Paul, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from an old farmer named Ben for 100 The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day The next day, Ben drove up and said, Ben Sorry, but I have some bad news The donkey died Jean Paul Well, then, just give me the money back, Ben Can t do that I went and spent it already Jean Paul OK, then Just unload the donkey, Ben What ya going to do with him Jean Paul I m going to raffle him off, Ben You can t raffle off a dead donkey Jean Paul Sure can Watch me I just won t tell that he s dead, A month later Ben met up with the Cajun and asked, Ben What happened with that dead donkey Jean Paul I raffled him off, I did I sold 500-hunderd tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of 898, Ben Didn t anyone complain Jean Paul Just the guy who won So I gave him his two dollars back. The problem with statistics Three statisticians are out pig shooting They s ee a large boar in the distance, so they jump out of their truck and level their rifles The first one fires A cloud of dirt erupts one metre to the left of the pig The second one fires A cloud of dirt erupts one metre to the right of the pig The third one shouts we got him so they jump back into the truck and drive off. A Japanese guy J is at Los Angeles International Airport, waiting for his flight back home to Japan While he s waiting, he goes to the currency exchange counter to change his remaining dollars. He counts his money at the counter and says to the clerk C J Wait a minute When I came here I got more dollars for my yen What s going on here C Fluctuations. The Japanese man stiffens J Well Fluck you Americans, too. A beautiful woman entered a bar and sat next to a lawyer Listen honey, she said, For 50, I ll do absolutely anything you want. The lawyer pulled fifty dollars from his wallet and said, Paint my house. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he pred icted yesterday didn t happen today. Trading online is great I find it really speeds things up. I now get my margin calls 5x faster than before.- Why are diapers like 10 bills - Because you have to change them. Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs give me your money, he demanded Indignant, the affluent man replied, you can t do this I am a United States congressman In that case, replied the mugger, give me MY money. A young girl and her father are looking at a nursery full of newborn babies All of them are crying Girl Are they hungry Dad No They just found out they ll have to pay for the stimulus bill. What s considered enough money Just a little bit more c Will Rogers. Money can buy a House But not a Home Money can buy a Bed But not Sleep Money can buy a Clock But not Time Money can buy you a Book But not Knowledge Money can buy you Medicine But not Health Money can buy you Sex But not Love.- Where do vampires keep t heir savings - In blood banks. Parents A bank provided by nature. After a laborious two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank robbery case, the jury finally ended its 14 hours of deliberations and entered the courtroom to deliver its verdict to the judge The judge turns to the jury foreman and asks, Has the jury reached a verdict in this case. Yes we have, your honor, the foreman responded. Would you please pass it to me. The judge declared, as he motioned for the bailiff to retrieve the verdict slip from the foreman and deliver it to him. After the judge reads the verdict himself, he delivers the verdict slip back to his bailiff to be returned to the foreman and instructs the foreman, Please read your verdict to the court. We find the defendant NOT GUILTY of all four counts of bank robbery, stated the foreman. The family and friends of the defendant jump for joy at the sound of the not guilty verdict and hug each other as they shout expressions of divine gratitude The defendant s at torney turns to his client and asks. So, what do you think about that. The defendant looks around the courtroom slowly with a bewildered look on his face and then turns to his defense attorney and says. I m real confused here Does this mean that I have to give all the money back. Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn t expect to be paid back. A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said Why did you put up such a fight To which the man promptly replied I was afraid that you would find the 200 hidden in my shoe. Economy - purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford. Stockbroker What is a million years like to you God Like one second Stockbroker What is a million dollars like to you God Like one penny Stockbroker Can I have a penny God Just a second. The best way of saving money is to forget the pers on you borrowed it from. Q Why did God create analysts A In order to make weather forecasters look good. SPREAD The only reliable way to make money on the FX market, which is why your broker charges you one. A woman returns to her car after shopping and is furious to find the side of her car is smashed in On the windshield is a note Relieved she picks it up and reads what it says As I m writing this a bunch of people are watching me They think I m writing down my name, number and insurance information But I m not. A man commented to his lunch companion My wife had a funny dream last night She dreamed she d married a millionaire You re lucky , sighed the companion My wife dreams that in the daytime. Meaning of potentially and realistically A young boy went up to his father and asked him, Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically The father thought for a moment, then answered, Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars Then ask your sist er if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars Come back and tell me what you learn from that So the boy went to his mother and asked, Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars The mother replied, Of course, I would We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university The boy then went to his sister and asked, Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars The girl replied, Oh, good heavens I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would sleep with him in a heartbeat Are you nuts The boy then went to his brother and asked, Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars Of course, the brother replied Do you know how much a million bucks would buy The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad His father asked him, Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically The boy replied, Yes, Potentially , you and I a re sitting on three million dollars, but realistically , we re living with two hookers and a future congressman. If you can count your money, you don t have a billion dollars c J Paul Getty. An economic forecaster was known to have an horseshoe prominently displayed above the doorframe of his office Asked what it was for, he replied it is a good luck charm that helps my forecasts But do you believe in that superstition he was asked. Of course not he said, but it works whether you believe in it or not. One day a young man came up to my window at the bank and whispered, Please deposit this hundred dollars in my savings account I handled the transaction and whispered back, Have a good day He started to leave but changed his mind I m sorry we have to whisper, he said, but if my car knows I ve deposited money, it ll break down again With his finger to his lips he tiptoed out. Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why I ve lost five cents, sobbed Johnny Don t worry, said his dad kindly Here s five more for you At this Johnny howled louder than ever Now what is it asked his dad I wish I d said I d lost ten cents. The other day, my friends and I went to a ladies night club One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a 10 bill When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the 10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek Not to be outdone, another friend pulled out a 20 bill She called the guy back over, licked the 20 bill, and stuck it to his other butt cheek In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulled out a 50 bill and called the guy over I was worried about the way things were going, but she licked the bill and just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again My relief was short lived Seeing the way things were going, the guy gyrated over to me Now everyone s attention was focused on me, and the guy was egging me on to try and top the 50 My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet What could I do I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his ass, grabbed the 80 bucks, and went home. Races Soros and a Bernanke went to the races Soros suggested to bet 10,000 on a horse Bernanke was sceptical, saying that he wanted first to understand the rules, to look on horses, etc Soros whispered that he knew a secret algorithm for the success, but he could not convince Bernanke Soros You are too theoretical, he said and bet on a horse Surely, that horse came first bringing him a lot of money Triumphantly, he exclaimed I told you, I knew the secret Bernanke What is your secret Soros It is rather easy I have two kids, three and five year old I sum up their ages and I bet on number nine Bernanke But, three and five is eight, Soros I told you, you are too theoretical Soros replied, Haven t I just shown experimentally that my calculation is correct.- What do you call five hedge fund managers at the bottom of the ocean - A good start. I hope you re OK reader, after all that must have come as quite a s hock Now you ve picked yourself up the floor, after reading the article title, which is a fact well kinda , we ll dwell on the subject at hand why do so many lose at trading forex and what are the adjustments so many have to make in order to be in that top forty percent of winners. OK, before we go any further let s firstly deal with the 39 of winning traders quote The fact comes as courtesy of forexmagnates in their redux lite version of a report covering the profitability and performance of USA based forex brokers The leading figure was 39 1 client profitability from a broker who had circa 24,000 active accounts There s also other interesting snippets of information that are worth noting before we move on. There was a steep fall in the number of accounts and activity levels in 2011 whilst the percentages of profitable traders increased This could suggest a couple of interesting points, firstly are we collectively getting better at what we do Or and it s not mutually exclusive have a lo t of amateurs left the arena, gone back to the day job, leaving the numbers to be enhanced by the superior or more proficient traders More importantly the number of brokers has shrunk, only the fittest of traders aided by most regulatory compliant firms will thrive. Number of forex accounts held with US forex brokers drops by more than 11,000 to all time low of 97,206.Clients profitability is up 6 4 on average, second consecutive quarter that profitability is improvin. The US retail forex industry is now showing obvious signs of slow down, the number of non-discretionary retail forex accounts held with US based reporting brokers down to record 97,206, the lowest count reported since Q3 2010 when first such report was released The extreme regulatory climate has made it extremely difficult for American brokers to attract new clients However, out of the top ten forex clients listed the lowest recorded level of profitability was circa 32.It s fascinating how many of us would receive a paradi gm lightening bolt to our pre-conceptions when hit with the kind of figure that led this article I m not alone in taking at face value some of the data and assumptions that come our way as forex traders Instinctively I knew that the unsubstantiated figure often hurled around trading forums that only 10 of traders are profitable, was nonsense. Having enquired at director level and read a comprehensive investors intelligence report, the reasonable figure for success was estimated at 20 , double the previous assumption, but 39 certainly took many by surprise the first time it was published, even more so that the top ten USA brokers have clients enjoying a 32 success rate There is, however, a caveat, my twenty percent figure includes spread betters who could in theory be skewing the data due to being much worse traders en masse than pure play forex traders, a theory worth examining at a later date. A question often raised by these type of success stats is are a tiny percentage of successful traders distorting these figures But generally percentages, averages and the distribution of random data doesn t work like that, and we should already know this being traders If circa 40 of trades are profitable then the figure for the percentage of actual traders being profitable will be fairly close to that number. In the first paragraph we posed the question why are so many traders unprofitable Well armed with this new information I wonder if that assumption shouldn t be examined in more detail Firstly, out of the circa 97,000 live accounts held in the USA roughly one third are profitable, now not all of these account holders will be full time dedicated sole occupation forex traders, some accounts would be used as punting accounts, folk who bet as opposed to trade and we can save the obvious cerebral discussion on the difference for another time. It s impossible to gauge that breakdown of actual numbers of profitable traders from the information and data, but a figure above 50 would b e a fairly safe bet and let s just take our logic a stage further in order to be full time, for some time , the vast majority would have to be profitable, otherwise they d simply give up the job It s interesting to note the further away we re moving from this fantasy 10 figure the more we analyse a small piece of hard audited data. There s another aspect to this debate on success that s also worth mentioning, perhaps supporting the view that FX is the best environment to trade in If the wider trading success figure is closer to 20 , but the top ten USA FX brokers clients are all above 32 , then are we being delivered an obvious message there If you want to enhance the probability of being a profitable trader then trade FX over and above equities, or indices and only consider using dare I say it an ECN STP broker such as FXCC. Here s my own take on a more human level so to speak I refuse to accept that anyone who has gone through my pain barriers over the past five years or so, who has go ne to the extremes of discovery I realised was compulsory in order to become a consistently profitable forex trader, wouldn t ultimately be successful and by successful I d suggest a metric of taking a regular and reasonable salary or investment return of the forex market And as I ve stated on numerous occasions unless you attack our forex challenge full time you ll never kick off the shoes and trade part time in a laid back fashion, that s a luxury that only comes from experience. Back to the question posed in the initial paragraph why do so many lose at trading forex and what are the adjustments so many have to make in order to be in that top forty percent of winners I ll leave you with six reasons and please feel free to join in on the blog with your own suggestions or additions Now I m not about to eulogise on the reasons and of provide solutions, it s a straightforward list and there s no riddle, the answers are there, the solution evident. But firstly a recap, if close on forty per cent of traders are successful then success as a profitable forex trader may be more in reach than you d first envisaged And that one figure, far higher than most would have anticipated, should be heralded as encouragement for fledgling traders. Six Reasons For Failure. Low start up capital. Failure to manage risk. Indecision doubting the plan. Trying to pick tops or bottoms. Refusing to be accept losses. I knew that 90-95 losers number was just fantasy I suspect that if you look at serious traders Trading with a plan, researching and doing the work screen time mostly you d see over that over 50 of them are profitable. I am profitable since the beginning of my live account and I never really understood that trading is hard thinking Just by using tight stops you can make money taking buy sell positions with a coinflip Try it on forex tester or another software if you don t believe me. Of course don t be a fool and always use an ECN broker. Julien, glad to see forex trading is treating you well Ha ving a plan is one of the fundamentals of profitable trading Money management is another. Let s hope the winners keep flowing your way. Paul Holmes says. It is one of the most prevalent myths in our industry, yet here it is, in black and white debunked by the USA official body. Your references to having a plan, sticking to it, ensuring you adopt strict money management rules to your trading and keeping a healthy trading psyche give huge clues as to why you re enjoying I haven t even mentioned method, the third factor in the 3Ms. Get the MM and MIND right, adapt one of many tried and tested METHODS and the profits should follow. I traded demo for a year before going live Trying just about every method under the sun. Many strategies are profitable, but the most important factors are always the same.- Respecting your SL do not close it before it gets hit or move it further away.- Never change your lot size after a loss to make the money back.- Take profit at target and don t cut a positive move short because it might go bad Moving your stop at break-even 1 when you start worrying is a good way to control fear. I hope you re OK reader, after all that must have come as quite a shock Now you ve picked yourself up the floor, after reading the article title, which is a fact well kinda , we ll dwell on the subject at hand why do so many lose at trading forex and what are the adjustments so many have to make in order to be in that top forty percent of winners. OK, before we go any further let s firstly deal with the 39 of winning traders quote The fact comes as courtesy of forexmagnates in their redux lite version of a report covering the profitability and performance of USA based forex brokers The leading figure was 39 1 client profitability from a broker who had circa 24,000 active accounts There s also other interesting snippets of information that are worth noting before we move on. There was a steep fall in the number of accounts and activity levels in 2011 whilst the percentages of profitable traders increased This could suggest a couple of interesting points, firstly are we collectively getting better at what we do Or and it s not mutually exclusive have a lot of amateurs left the arena, gone back to the day job, leaving the numbers to be enhanced by the superior or more proficient traders More importantly the number of brokers has shrunk, only the fittest of traders aided by most regulatory compliant firms will thrive. Number of forex accounts held with US forex brokers drops by more than 11,000 to all time low of 97,206.Clients profitability is up 6 4 on average, second consecutive quarter that profitability is improvin. The US retail forex industry is now showing obvious signs of slow down, the number of non-discretionary retail forex accounts held with US based reporting brokers down to record 97,206, the lowest count reported since Q3 2010 when first such report was released The extreme regulatory climate has made it extremely difficult for American broker s to attract new clients However, out of the top ten forex clients listed the lowest recorded level of profitability was circa 32.It s fascinating how many of us would receive a paradigm lightening bolt to our pre-conceptions when hit with the kind of figure that led this article I m not alone in taking at face value some of the data and assumptions that come our way as forex traders Instinctively I knew that the unsubstantiated figure often hurled around trading forums that only 10 of traders are profitable, was nonsense. Having enquired at director level and read a comprehensive investors intelligence report, the reasonable figure for success was estimated at 20 , double the previous assumption, but 39 certainly took many by surprise the first time it was published, even more so that the top ten USA brokers have clients enjoying a 32 success rate There is, however, a caveat, my twenty percent figure includes spread betters who could in theory be skewing the data due to being much wors e traders en masse than pure play forex traders, a theory worth examining at a later date. A question often raised by these type of success stats is are a tiny percentage of successful traders distorting these figures But generally percentages, averages and the distribution of random data doesn t work like that, and we should already know this being traders If circa 40 of trades are profitable then the figure for the percentage of actual traders being profitable will be fairly close to that number. In the first paragraph we posed the question why are so many traders unprofitable Well armed with this new information I wonder if that assumption shouldn t be examined in more detail Firstly, out of the circa 97,000 live accounts held in the USA roughly one third are profitable, now not all of these account holders will be full time dedicated sole occupation forex traders, some accounts would be used as punting accounts, folk who bet as opposed to trade and we can save the obvious cerebral di scussion on the difference for another time. It s impossible to gauge that breakdown of actual numbers of profitable traders from the information and data, but a figure above 50 would be a fairly safe bet and let s just take our logic a stage further in order to be full time, for some time , the vast majority would have to be profitable, otherwise they d simply give up the job It s interesting to note the further away we re moving from this fantasy 10 figure the more we analyse a small piece of hard audited data. There s another aspect to this debate on success that s also worth mentioning, perhaps supporting the view that FX is the best environment to trade in If the wider trading success figure is closer to 20 , but the top ten USA FX brokers clients are all above 32 , then are we being delivered an obvious message there If you want to enhance the probability of being a profitable trader then trade FX over and above equities, or indices and only consider using dare I say it an ECN STP broker such as FXCC. Here s my own take on a more human level so to speak I refuse to accept that anyone who has gone through my pain barriers over the past five years or so, who has gone to the extremes of discovery I realised was compulsory in order to become a consistently profitable forex trader, wouldn t ultimately be successful and by successful I d suggest a metric of taking a regular and reasonable salary or investment return of the forex market And as I ve stated on numerous occasions unless you attack our forex challenge full time you ll never kick off the shoes and trade part time in a laid back fashion, that s a luxury that only comes from experience. Back to the question posed in the initial paragraph why do so many lose at trading forex and what are the adjustments so many have to make in order to be in that top forty percent of winners I ll leave you with six reasons and please feel free to join in on the blog with your own suggestions or additions Now I m not about to eul ogise on the reasons and of provide solutions, it s a straightforward list and there s no riddle, the answers are there, the solution evident. But firstly a recap, if close on forty percent of traders are successful then success as a profitable forex trader may be more in reach than you d first envisaged And that one figure, far higher than most would have anticipated, should be heralded as encouragement for fledgling traders. Six Reasons For Failure. Low start up capital. Failure to manage risk. Indecision doubting the plan. Trying to pick tops or bottoms. Refusing to be accept losses. I knew that 90-95 losers number was just fantasy I suspect that if you look at serious traders Trading with a plan, researching and doing the work screen time mostly you d see over that over 50 of them are profitable. I am profitable since the beginning of my live account and I never really understood that trading is hard thinking Just by using tight stops you can make money taking buy sell positions with a coin flip Try it on forex tester or another software if you don t believe me. Of course don t be a fool and always use an ECN broker. Julien, glad to see forex trading is treating you well Having a plan is one of the fundamentals of profitable trading Money management is another. Let s hope the winners keep flowing your way. Paul Holmes says. It is one of the most prevalent myths in our industry, yet here it is, in black and white debunked by the USA official body. Your references to having a plan, sticking to it, ensuring you adopt strict money management rules to your trading and keeping a healthy trading psyche give huge clues as to why you re enjoying I haven t even mentioned method, the third factor in the 3Ms. Get the MM and MIND right, adapt one of many tried and tested METHODS and the profits should follow. I traded demo for a year before going live Trying just about every method under the sun. Many strategies are profitable, but the most important factors are always the same.- Respecting yo ur SL do not close it before it gets hit or move it further away.- Never change your lot size after a loss to make the money back.- Take profit at target and don t cut a positive move short because it might go bad Moving your stop at break-even 1 when you start worrying is a good way to control fear.